mutual aid

Live updated link of this information on Notion

Even though “Giving Tuesday” has passed I am asking you to consider sending me a small amount of funding/funds so we can support a Black woman I know who needs a car. This woman works so incredibly, tirelessly hard at all she does. She is a member of the meditation collective where I meditate each week. This is a mutual aid effort to support her in buying a car. If you don’t know about mutual aid here is a link.

I am aware this is a somewhat unusual ask.

This message is for colleagues, friends, and family.

• If you are a client or previous client I am not asking you to offer money to allow us to support this person

However, I will describe a new offering at the end that is appropriate for clients who want to learn some meditation and folks curious about mutual aid (and it is linked here).

Please read on to learn more. Or simply allow funds to flow through if you can.

paypal.me/BridgetBertrand

or Zelle, @650-539-4325

Here is a little history about my own story, and why I think this work fits well with my own path toward unlearning white supremacist culture. I was raised with fundamentalism all around me. Though my family attended a methodist church the FSA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) was a towering influence. Though I have long left those church rooms and early AM prayer circles a very long time ago, I find myself joining a non-denominational meditation community every week for over two years. I have spent hundreds of hours in these zoom rooms meditating. It is likely equivalent to the amount of time that I spent in churches and at church camp.

In rural Tennessee, in 1980 I was a young child and my mom had a list of folks' names from Church (and their phone numbers) taped to the inside cabinet near our yellow rotary phone. I am guessing some of you also had this kind of phone and that list in your house? I recently made my own list of numbers, (handwritten)…in case I need to refer to that one day. It just felt important to do. To have a group around you is such a gift. If you have this group, hold them, dear. If you are growing that list, I totally support you in that kind of growth!

I feel very lucky that many of the folks on this list I met are in the "no big deal" space. What is "no big deal” (aka, NBD)? It is a mediation practice space where we "sit". This practice can be called “stillness intention training” (SIT) and it can be invited in so many places in our lives. It is a zen point practice. We meet online, we share these tenants, we come “as we are”, “we leave as we must”, we “mind our business”, it is “no big deal” and it changes lives.  We also center folks of the Global Majority: People of Global Majority(PGM)/ Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) and we are a queer-loving space.

This practice follows me through my week even if I don’t attend as many days as I used to at the height of the pandemic. It has truly changed the way I see the world, along with other influences and learning/unlearning over these many years of the ongoing pandemic and the continued racial reckoning in this country (America aka Turtle Island).

This NBD (no big deal) space is lovingly curated, created, and held by Rev. angel Kyodo williams and many co-keepers.  It is very unique.  It is unlike anything else I have been a part of.

Rev says"

"...this deceptively simple practice space has been known to blow people's skirts up whether they are wearing one or not, break your brain, disrupt lazy or white supremacist-laden notions of practice, and generally undermine ordinary ways of thinking. it could even lead to you falling widely in love with yourself. we accept no responsibility for the glimpse of your own liberation you may experience and never want to turn away from again. enter at your own risk."

In my humble opinion, the current (currency) needs to flow back to the Global Majority. As all white wealth is stolen wealth. I learned this succinct phrase from, https://www.crc4sd.org/.

Let me know how that phrase lands on you?  Let me know if you have any questions at all!  Also, here is another idea and a way to give now if the direct mutual aid way is not your way:

https://www.facebook.com/donate/830289441512868/

Allowing funds to flow through is one way to allow liberation to work on us. What is liberation?  In my understanding: on the ground liberation is “a movement seeking equal rights for a group”.  If you want to book a quick session below there are many offerings. I am taking donations only for the mutual aid/meditation talks and these will flow through to my friend in the meditation collective.

calendly.com/bridgetexpressivearts

Thank you for your kind consideration, and if you want more info. If you would like to hear a bit more of how this works I can tell you on a quick phone call. Text to my number below is also a fine way to set this up. Also, all of your funds will be tracked live by date and initials right here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PV_GoncIdqYIWdDMMDfLat9zbSQ6t0M8sizpP2MLb6o/edit?usp=sharing

Stillness is the path or at least one path, I think we are going to need a lot more of it in these coming decades. Please come practice in this space by signing up for the New Year’s Sit.

In solidarity, Bridget

Bridget Bertrand (she/her)

LMFT 83020

Counselor &

Expressive Arts Facilitator

414 Gough #4, San Francisco, CA

calendly.com/bridgetexpressivearts

Links to all my work things

including a free meditation on my podcast:

https://linktr.ee/bhopeb

work phone, text is ok:

650-539-4325

❤️‍🔥

• Muwekma

• Ohlone

• Ramaytush

• please pay land tax, and find out whose land you are on, thank you!

Anti-Racism Commitment

https://expresiveartswork.notion.site/anti-racism-commitment-44567abad952448094825db3b1676655

anti-racism-commitment - live and updated link

Please reach out to discuss this commitment or ask questions.

I am very happy you are here.

link to my live anti-racism commitment

start here

First Steps to an Art Journal

 #1 buy a mixed media or watercolor journal. Head to a local art store (click the link for Cal Arts in San Mateo) or Dick Blick online (links below). Do your thing here, just ideas for the less corporate ones! Here is one link to a Canson journal Two other brands of paper I have used are Strathmore 500 Series Visual Mixed Media Journal Pay attention to the weight of the paper, you want it to be watercolor or mixed media weight, or the glue, water, the paint we will be adding won’t stay, the paper will buckle and it will be kinda disappointing. This will likely happen if you are new to art anyway so let’s not pile on. :) :

#2 Do you have markers, pens, pencils, watercolors, paints, glue, tape, old magazines, and doodads like plastic stuff you need to through away? Gather it all into one place, your new art journal place. Also, a glue gun is fun.

Here are some other ideas for pencils, or art crayons:

https://www.dickblick.com/products/faber-castell-goldfaber-color-pencils-and-sets/

https://www.dickblick.com/products/sargent-art-water-color-crayons/

#3 Gather a candle or incense if that is your jam. And open the first page. Place your hands on the open page and say, “what is already here that I would like to express or know more about”. When I say “here”, I mean in your body, your mind, we are talking about feelings and thoughts here. There is NO right…NO wrong. Just start writing. Write all the way down the page and turn the page one way 90 degrees and write across everything you have just written. Keep doing this until you can’t read your writing. Let your thoughts and feelings flow. Do not edit. No one will ever be able to read this unless they are forensic scientists and then even, why would they care about our inner thoughts?

Now it’s time to have fun and get messy.

#4 Paint marker and glue all over what you have written. Again, there is no right or wrong. Allow yourself to pick whatever color you feel is right for you today.  

#5 share with me and ask questions. I will always aim to get back to you in two days. I am eager to engage with you in this process. I want to help you stay committed and soon you will see you crave this time for yourself and you can even get your family involved if you would like.  Share this with your friends and family so you can have accountability!

suffering and the path out

Everywhere I go I see more struggle than before. What has been most helpful for me during these times of struggle is a renewed commitment to my sitting meditation practice. Here on “expressive arts work” an online for now business we will create art, meditate, and move. Tired of zoom? Let’s chat on the phone while you draw, move, meditate, sculpt or read a poem! I deeply believe and I know I am not the first to stay it "art heals". Living an artistic life, a meditated life, a life full of time in nature clearly helps us feel overall better. How do you track that commitment? Can you take a look at your photos and celebrate those times in the outdoors, even if it's taking a photo of the tree around the corner from your house.

positive discipline info

I am excited to offer you these links and talks. Click below on each talk title and handout to download the ideas. I love speaking on positive discipline, parenting and how parent coaching can support this process of learning new ways to parent. I hope this will give you a sense of what I can offer in the online zoom groups I will offer via expressive arts work. There are many experiential exercises I lead that will support your parenting! I can come speak at your workplace, playgroup, or spiritual group. Please reach out and hear about the exciting new groups I will offer in February on zoom! Also you can buy your spot here (click the link). Please reach out with questions and comments at: bridget@expressivearts.work

Curiosity Questions

Managing BIG emotions the power point

Managing BIG emotions handout

Discipline 101 the power point

Discipline 101 the handout

Mindful Parenting the power point

Mindful Parenting the handout

Parenting Resources

and last but not least "the mistaken goal chart" a great parenting tool!

parenting

It’s amazing how much parenting is talked about, written about, and stressed over. My understanding in the last 12 years of parenting (since the birth of our daughter) and the twenty while working with kids as a teacher has undergone many shifts. I hope some of these insights might help you come to terms with your parenting and maybe make a shift that could benefit your family. When we take this time to understand our parenting and why we do what we do I think we get a chance to more deeply understand ourselves. Happy exploring!

When I first wrote this blog that I am updating it was near Labor Day. Labor Day was first celebrated on September 5th, 1882. The Fair Labor Standards Act came much later in 1938. This act assures that when young people work that the work is safe (dol.gov). It was less than a century ago the main job of a parent was to keep the arms of their children from being caught in machinery.  

The psychologists that created the foundation of Positive Discipline (Dreikurs and Adler) worked around the turn of the century and understood the plight families faced. If we delve into the difference between sending a kid to a factory and sending a kid to school, we see our parenting approaches have to make huge shifts. I used to wrestle more with these shifts. When we parent from a democratic and positive stance it’s not always pretty. Why can’t I get my child to “behave”? Why does she tantrum in public? Why does he talk back at home? Why can’t I control this kid? I think to myself "I would have never acted like this". Why? In part because my parents came out of depression-era families, in part because I lived in an authoritarian culture. 

This shift is a slow one and I think our generation has a real opportunity to make a change. While there are so many ways to redirect these unwanted behaviors, more and more I think it’s positive that we let children have their emotions. Let go of the control and let them be. This does not mean we let the limits go. There are rules and we must show and teach children how to be a part of society. As our world has evolved so has our focus on how to guide children through childhood. Of course, there are different ways of parenting and your house is just that, your house, yet I see this shift toward a more positive and disciplined approach to be just that...positive! 

How does this relate to what you do right now? First, if you are already on the path toward a more democratic form of parenting and you are feeling under-supported in your peer group you are not alone. I find this all the time. In our house, we aim not to punish or reward. We deal with misbehavior and treat it as “misguided behavior”. We look at the belief behind the behavior. See my linked resource of the “Mistaken Goal Chart”.  

Sometimes, when our children misbehave we may want to hurt back because we feel hurt, yet that is not the most skillful adult choice.

So what do we do? #1 we have a weekly family meeting (see the PDF you might have gotten for free if you signed up for my mailing list). Meetings only need to be about 10 minutes and they can happen in the car!

We have been doing this on and off for 8 years and I can say it’s made a huge difference. The other parts of our family that seem to work are contributions (aka chores) and using positive statements. See my quick link on "curiosity statements" as well.

See more guidelines at this link. #2 we talk a LOT: What happened today? What were the highs and the lows? Oh, you seem quite upset right now maybe we all need to have some time to relax. #3 we try not over schedule (for the most part). We respect that our kid needs a lot of downtime “just” to do Legos or art, or zone out. I am very inspired by blog posts and parents who also walk this path like Rachel Macy Stafford, & Dr. Laura Markhman. 

In short, I reach out for help on the Internet or with my friends. If you want to deepen your parenting goals reach out. If you have a question for me reach out. Or if you are so inclined to pass this blog along to a friend I would appreciate your support. And lastly, something to say to our selves from Rachel Macy Stafford: 

“Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can”.

checking in 2021

Dear folks, how are you? What a time? It seems we are indeed continuing to live in some of the most deeply perplexing, sad, and sometimes damn scary days of our lives? I got off all social media except Twitter and mighty networks last November and I have to say that is helping my soul on a level (more on the latter soon). Regarding pandemic fatigue, I am cognizant that this may have been a part of your life before the pandemic (fatigue, anger, lack of access) and if that is so I am deeply hopeful you find a way to rest every chance you get. Take note from this now-famous site, if you don’t know it please check it out: “The Nap Ministry was founded in 2016 by Tricia Hersey and is an organization that examines the liberating power of naps. Our “REST IS RESISTANCE” framework and practice engages with the power of performance art, site-specific installations, and community organizing to install sacred and safe spaces for the community to rest together.”

validate

One of the biggest things I have learned in all my years of teaching, parenting, and therapy is to try very hard not to invalidate what my kid brings to me. SO, if she says "I am stupid no one likes me" after MANY years of my own therapy I have learned to say "that sounds horrible...tell me more..."....or I just sit quietly with her in that dark place. I know this seems counter to what we might want to do but I find in the long term she knows she can bring me the “hard parts”. Does this resonate? Please email and let me know your throughs. I often feel as though I am dragging my clients to this realization...but I feel it deep in my soul now. Who else other than a therapist / educator (aka mom) will listen to these parts? I am not saying I am my kids' therapist at all but I think reflection is the best part of therapy and not what we typically think of when we think of "a therapist". I think we think of the poor examples on TV and in Movies. Though there are some decent examples and I would be curious which TV or movie therapist you might like. My deep hope is one day her good friends will listen to her sad parts but I am not sure they connect on that level yet. Happy to hear push back or questions about this. AND please know I boost her up too, saying "you worked so hard on that test prep." Or "I see how you are getting yourself to school each day prepared". Notice I don't only say "I am so proud of you". There is some decent research around this kind of giving the kid the power. Also, I had a lot of false propping me up in my life that landed in a kinda fake way, so I might have overcorrected in this area. Hope this is making sense, I will be adding content here each week. Stay tuned!

fall update

Dear folks, how are you? What a time! We are continuing to live in some of the most deeply perplexing, sad, and sometimes damn scary days of our lives? How are you? Please check-in, let me know. This is a serious offer. I would love to be in touch. I have a few other things to share and I hope you will read to the end, but if not, the quick news... there is a workshop announcement and a shift in this newsletter. Scroll to the bottom to check all the links.

The news: I am turning this list into my Expressive Arts Facilitator list/newsletter/blog. About a year ago I asked you to "opt-into" my expressive arts blog and a few of you did. Now I am just making the change. And I do understand if you need to opt out (it's right below).

You are here because have known me as a positive discipline educator or as a therapist. All these roles and skills I offer will still be offered. I have a private therapy portal all online, and I have a few spots in that schedule but this new launch is about being an artist, performer, helper, healer, which I already am, I just want to say it and write about it a bit more and live into it more!

If you are a colleague you might have referred to me for which I am deeply grateful. I hope you will stay on this monthly check-in newsletter/blog.

As a client or potential client what I hope I have always offered you is a love of listening and sharing. I have a deep desire to connect with you. Reach back out if it is time to revisit your healing journey with the arts or meditation as the root of our work.

Part of what helped me grow my in-person business was so often knowing who in the community was the specialist in each area. I hope you might begin to think of me as the go-to person for folks who might benefit from meditation, art, and a coaching format. Also, mama, divorced, queer lived experience is a part of my truth I would like to share (or share again) as it is helpful to you. What would you like me to know about you (if you are a colleague)? It’s always helpful to know what folks are offering.

Fun fact, I write these letters on my meditation cushion before returning to the anchor of the meditation. This is primarily what pulls me away, how to connect with you my small local audience. It has been so so curious that that has been my experience for months and I have not written. Why? Fear you will leave? The fear I can or won't ever launch (keeping launching) this expressive arts business (?), but as I press send that fear will be gone. And I will be on to the next thing.

I find this fear and this desire so intriguing. I want to know what we can create together but I have been slow to keep reaching out. I aim to put that fear out of my mind and keep coming back to this well of beautiful people and I hope to grow this newsletter/blog. Can you pass this along if you know someone who might be curious?

If you are a potential client, I want to see all of your many selves on the pages you will paint, or the rooms you will dance in. The multitude of glorious selves, ideas, wishes, and dreams you have inside you need to be set free. The many often competing roles you play outside of you can show up when we meet.

I never ever need you to be a certain way. I want to see it all (if you would like, with your trust and consent) and so as I transition this blog, newsletter into Expressive Arts Work, I hope you will stay and maybe share this little space where we can all create. To that end, there is a cool link below to a mighty network (click the little link image below). Join me there to share art, articles, or just questions. It seems not to go down when all the other servers do.

and here is my “new” site as well:

www.expressivearts.work

Save the date, on October 27st from 12 pm - 1.30 pm I will hold a very fun informative workshop about all things expressive arts called "Creating the time for YOU", breaking ground and connecting to yourself; how to start an art journal. Please come and find out the joy of art, of journaling, of mashing the two together is a possible brown glorious mess of a thing. You need validation you can't fail, write to me, I will send you some of my fabulously messy paintings.

All for now here’s to you getting a little more time for you today!

Bridget

Click below for all the links to all the things I offer (I just love linktr.ee)

Linktr.ee/bhopeb